Online canine community is having a funny field trip over a pert poodle who zoomies with a stolen bra: 'Somehow they get faster when handling contraband.'

Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor

Mar 4, 2026 11:00 AM EST

The online dog pawrent family is currently losing its collective mind over this dog who decided a stolen bra was the ultimate aerodynamic accessory for a high-speed living room zoomie.

There is a universal truth among dog lovers: a doggo's top speed increases by at least 40% the moment they're holding in their mouth something that they should absolutely not be holding in their mouth. This hilarious heist had us circling the Animal Comedy HQ to ask our fellow dog pawrents about the most ridiculous items their own four-legged bandits have liberated. Here are the top three, in no particular order:

"My Beagle once interrupted a formal dinner party by proudly parading a single, soggy loofah through the dining room."
"Bobby, my Golden Retriever, managed to snag a whole baguette, holding it perfectly horizontally like a very carby mustache while leading a twenty-minute chase."
"It's the eye contact that gets you. I have a Dachshund that once sprinted off with a vibrating electric toothbrush. The buzzing sound was the right soundtrack."

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When a dog grabs a dish towel, a leaf, or an object that absolutely was not meant to be mobile - and then sprints - you’re witnessing instinct plus victory lap. Many dogs have strong retrieving or carrying behaviors baked into their genetics, especially breeds originally developed to fetch game or transport items. Holding something in their mouth can feel purposeful, like they’ve successfully “captured” a prize. Add excitement or excess energy, and that prize becomes aerodynamic.
Zoomies (technically called Frenetic Random Activity Periods) are bursts of high-energy release, often triggered by play, relief, or pure joy. Carrying an item during these sprints may enhance the thrill - it’s possession plus motion. There’s also a sensory component: dogs explore the world with their mouths, and different textures are interesting. So when they tear through the house with a sock like it’s Olympic gold, they’re not being chaotic. They’re celebrating acquisition in the most fabulous way possible.
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If your dog has ever stolen your worn socks only to nap with them, congratulations - you are deeply loved. Dogs rely heavily on scent, and your smell is their emotional anchor. Human scent carries complex chemical information, and for a bonded dog, it signals safety, familiarity, and social connection.
Studies show that dogs’ brains respond positively to their owner’s scent, activating reward-related areas. So when you’re gone, your laundry becomes a comfort object. Socks and worn clothes are especially powerful because they’re saturated with your natural scent, far more than freshly washed fabric. This behavior is often strongest in dogs with strong attachment bonds or mild separation stress.
It’s not about the sock itself - it’s about proximity to you through smell. In evolutionary terms, staying near the pack’s scent is reassuring. In modern terms, your dog is spooning your hoodie because it smells like home - and home smells like you.
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